It's only you and me, and we just disagree...

There are workers in the part of the orchard that we own but can't yet manage today. They're throwing fistfulls (fists full?) of rodent poison everywhere to kill off the voles (who tunnel and make a hash of orchard floors and rudely gnaw on apple tree trunks).

Here's my plan: I'm about to apply something to the grassy areas called milky spore . It's a bacterium that is harmless to pets, people, beneficial insects ... well, in short, it doesn't hurt anyone but Japanese beetle grubs. See, the beetles will wake up soon, mature into adults, and eat any green matter in sight. The green matter that concerns me most is apple tree leaves. See, without those leaves, the tree can't collect the sunlight that feeds the apples. So I don't like Japanese beetles. You know who *does* like them? Voles. Voles like them when they are tasty grubs, sleeping in the dirt, waiting to become beetles. (You're with me so far, right?) So here I go with my milky spore, which will kill the grubs (so they don't grow up to eat the leaves). And where there are fewer adults, there will be fewer grubs, which means the voles will eventually have to look somewhere else for food.

Sometimes I feel like an evil genius.